Author Archives: Stormy Marmot

Groundhog Day (Overcast, But Optimistic)

I hopped out of the burrow in the morning mist, Checking off a season on my winter list. The air was like a cold shoulder, sharp and gray, I’ve been dreaming of the sun since back in mid-May. I stood … Continue reading

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The Ballad of Picktail and the Eternal Haul

The burrow was a symphony of snores. January had settled over Rocky Mountain National Park like a weighted blanket, woven from snow and existential dread. Nutmeg McChunky was three months deep into his Maintenance of the Sphere protocol, occasionally twitching … Continue reading

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The Great Alpine Opt-Out: Why Your New Year’s Resolutions are a Scam

The new year is a time for resolutions, goal setting and the collective realization, around January 8th, that we were wildly optimistic on January 1st. While you are likely vibrating from a caffeine overdose, staring at a half-completed habit tracker … Continue reading

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Marmot Christmas: Silent Night, Extremely Literal Edition

If you thought Marmot Thanksgiving was a low-energy affair, Marmot Christmas takes “silent night” to a whole new biological extreme. By late December, the alpine tundra is buried under several feet of snow, the wind is doing unspeakable things to … Continue reading

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A Midwinter Night’s Carb-Dream: Nutmeg McChunky and the Infinity Salad

It was December 24th, three yards underground. The ambient temperature in the burrow was a balmy 38° Fahrenheit. The air was thick with the scent of damp earth and forty slumbering rodents. Deep within the pile, wedged tightly between the … Continue reading

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Marmot Thanksgiving: A Very Sleepy, Very Grassy Holiday Feast!

Welcome to marmot Thanksgiving, the alpine holiday that’s 80% snack, 20% nap and 100% chaos. For most of North America Thanksgiving means family, food comas and perhaps a highly questionable game of touch football. But for our beloved, rotund alpine … Continue reading

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Halloween in the Burrow: A Marmot’s Guide

For most humans Halloween means candy, costumes and mild regrets, usually associated with alcohol. But for marmots, nature’s roundest rodents, it’s a bit more complicated. See, by the time October rolls around, marmots are deep into their pre-hibernation naps, dreaming … Continue reading

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Nutmeg McChunky and the Great National Nut Day Confusion

Today is National Nut Day and no, we’re not talking about the eccentric neighbor kind or your quirky uncle who wears socks with sandals in January, although we all have a few of those in the burrow as well. This … Continue reading

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Grumble in the Grass: A Marmot’s Tribute to National Grouch Day

For most, October 15th is just another crisp autumn day. But for a select, discerning few, it’s a sacred observance: National Grouch Day. Every colony has one, that one marmot who can turn a perfectly fine morning into a lecture … Continue reading

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Oktoberfest for the Furry & Fearless: A Marmot’s Guilty Pleasure

As the crisp autumn air bites at the alpine tundra and the leaves turn golden, most humans are thinking of pumpkin spice and cozy sweaters. But for a select furry few autumn signals something far more important: Oktoberfest! That’s right, … Continue reading

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